IT'S A GIRL!!!

In honor of Women's Day, I dedicate this to all the women who have felt like they are not enough or that they are too much. To the ones who are still trying to make peace with themselves and their gender. May you feel the love and wonder you were designed to inspire! To my Jaida.

I have to tell you... I LOVE having a daughter! I’m getting ahead of myself; let me back up.

I have never been a girl's, girl. I have always felt (still do at times) nervous when I am with girls/women. I often do not relate. So I tend to try to hard and over-relate. haha! I always say the wrong or raunchy thing that other girls do not say and, many times, do not appreciate. All this being said, having my daughter has been such an unexpected and wonderful gift. When the sonogram revealed I was having a girl, I was so happy... then a stab of fear went through me. "What if this little girl doesn't like me?!?"

Being rejected by girls as I grew up made me uncomfortable with my own femininity. It started early for me… the realization, girls were not safe. My heart was not safe with my “friends”. All the usual female drama ensued, “If you don’t know what you did, then I’m not going tell you!” “Everyone says so…” “Your _______, so you can’t come.”

We all have them, don't we? These deep wounds. We didn't know what was wrong with us, just that something was clear to everyone else. We were unacceptable. This pain caused me to reject my own gender, unconsciously, of course. Girls were mean.

So when I realized I was going to have a girl, I immediately began to think and worry about how it would be raising one. Telling people, "Don’t buy too much pink for my baby!”. As if, to somehow, down play the fact that she would be a girl.

This caused me to believe a lie, being female or feminine made me weak or something inferior. So when I realized I was going to have a girl, I immediately began to think and worry about how it would be raising one. Telling people, "Don’t buy too much pink for my baby!”. As if, to somehow, downplay the fact that she would be female.

Then, it happened! She came into this world. Beauty and light. Bringer of Joy. She truly blew my mind! She was pink, and she loved pink… no-one taught her. She simply knew what she liked and who she was and delighted in life. So... I did too.

Through her untainted, fearless, beautiful blue eyes, I see the world anew. She responds to the world around her with such gentle, tender, beautiful sensitivity. Anyone who knows her attaches the word "sweet" to her name. Even as I write, tears come because God knew!

I have been so humbled by the wonderful gift of femininity!

Sound too romantic? Too beautiful? It is!

Beauty is her story. It’s my story. It’s your story.

Your perspective has just been choked out by life’s difficulties. My wounded soul needed a beauty that was free and loved me freely to heal my broken heart and remind me of who I truly am—a girl.

I am in awe of how God has healed so many of my own insecurities through having her and how my love for her has literally become transferable. When I look at other women now, I see daughters, mothers, and sisters that I love!

If you don’t have a daughter please don’t check out, this applies to all of us.

She looks just like my baby pictures, which is so fun! But the most powerful thing is, I love everything about her! All that she is, and will be. I love her body, mind, spirit, and even her little weird idiosyncrasies… Haha, oh, and she has them!

I would never want anyone to tell her the negative things that I have been told, especially the negative things I have told myself. I’m not talking about denial here… She blows it and gets held accountable. She’s human, just like us. If you don’t have a daughter, please don’t check out; this applies to all of us.

You formed my innermost parts; You knit me [together] in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks and praise to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are your works, and my soul knows it very well.

Psalms 139:13-14 (AMP)

Having Jaida brought healing and revelation: If I love all that she is, I have to love all that I am. She has been made in my image…His image. In many ways, she will inherit my looks, mind, and spirit—who I am.

I pray she is kinder to herself than I have been to myself. Kinder than you have been to yourself. I love being a woman, and I love the women in my life. In my adult life, I have been greatly blessed with fabulous female friends and mentors. So much, that my cup runneth over!

I pray my daughter will love God, family, and herself—and her femininity—and that she will treat other women with grace instead of fear and suspicion. This is God's heart for you! Whether you have a daughter or not… HE has a little girl… you. You are truly fearfully and wonderfully made! Be healed, dear heart, in Jesus' name.

Read Psalms 139, the whole chapter. It will bless you!!

As usual, I ask...

What lies have you believed? What is the truth according to God's word? Who do you need to forgive? Who do you need to apologize to? Maybe it's you. It is not too late to make peace with yourself. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you.

Please comment below on what this means to you. Your story matters! It may be what another reader needs to hear. Need prayer? It would be my honor. Inbox me!!