The truth about the road I have traveled. 2021 to 2022
Looking back on 2021, I’ve struggled to find the words. The (overly deep meaning I’m assigning to this) photo sums it up pretty well. 2021 was a road I’ve been on for so long and traveled many times… but there’s another fresh start over the horizon.
Chronic illness has been the battle of my life. One I’ve fought mostly in secret. I’m getting better at coming out of hiding and seeing honesty as a strength, not a weakness. I make some wins, and then there are devastating losses. I think the thing I learned the most this time around the Sun is that it’s all connected.
My physical body is just the Canary in the coal mine. My mental, emotional, and spiritual trauma and well-being will not be ignored. I’ve learned that when I start to get shingles or deal with chronic fatigue, it’s actually a warning that my heart needs tending to. I’ve learned many new tools to care for myself, and I’m getting better at it each time I start again.
Unfortunately, preceding each fresh start is usually a horrible failure or regression, losing ground hard-fought for. Often, my lack of self-discipline is to blame. Frustrated and ashamed is a place I long to leave behind, but I am human.
I am grateful for all I’ve learned, and God has proved Himself faithful yet again. Things I believed would surely destroy me have been turned for my good. I know I am not alone In this place of beauty and loss.
Genesis 50:20 “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good…”
Job 1:21 And he said, “Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”
My 2022 intention is to do the hard work of healing and even get my body to understand it’s safe and I can be strong again.
If you see me surfing this year, know I fought so hard to be out there, and you are seeing a victory! See you in the lineup!!! #crazylovelymess #hopeful #grateful
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