Fairytale or Cautionary Tale?
Have you ever had a dream or desire that you felt ashamed of having? I mean, because you know you don't deserve it! You know that you don't need one single other thing. . . ever! Yet, when no one else is looking, you daydream. . . and maybe. . . have a private Pinterest board that you stock full of ideas. "It's just for fun!", that's what you tell yourself.
Well, sometimes those dreams are ridiculous, and sometimes they are God dreams. So here is the story about my secret dream home.
... the borrower is slave to the lender. Proverbs 22: 7
Once upon a time, on a barrier island off the coast of North Carolina, lived an average-income family in a beautiful house. They were happy there, except there was a really big problem. They were slaves! When they were young and much less wise, they received some bad advice: "Make all your purchases on this magic card, and all your dreams will come true!"
Okay, I’ll drop the fairytale narration and get straight to the point. Here’s the deal: we both grew up in lower-income homes. Our parents did the best they could, but they never taught us about finances. The public school system didn’t prepare us for it either. Fast forward to our 20s: we were making decent money for our age. So much so that, with the help of some dear friends, we built a house. We bought things here and there on credit cards, keeping a small balance we paid off every few months. It felt like we were living the “American Dream.”
There were two very important things that made this advice take a very bad turn. First, we were stupid!... second, it was 2007"
Then came some financial advice. I won’t blame the people who gave it to us, because ultimately, we didn’t know what we were doing. The advice was this: to better track our spending as self-employed individuals and maximize tax deductions, use a credit card for purchases. Sounds smart, right? It is—if you (A) believe in using credit cards (a topic for another day) and (B) pay off the balance in full every month.
But two key issues made this advice a disaster.
First, we were naive. We started using the credit card for day-to-day purchases as advised, but we also continued spending the cash in our bank account. (If you just gasped and thought, Idiots!—you’d be right.) We were living the high life, and it felt like freedom.
Isn’t that how it goes, spiritually speaking? You coast along in ignorant bliss, thinking everything is fine. An opportunity comes along that seems good and feels freeing. Then bam! You realize you’ve made a horrible mistake. You’re not free; you’re enslaved—tangled so badly you can’t see a way out.
Second, the timing couldn’t have been worse. It was 2007. Some of you are already groaning, knowing what happened that year. For those who don’t, 2007 was when the U.S. economy tanked, sparking a global financial crisis—the worst since the Great Depression. In our little corner of the world, the Outer Banks, the local economy was hit hard. It relies heavily on investment housing and tourism, both of which crashed. Many of our friends lost everything, including their homes.
By some miracle, my husband kept his job and we were able to pay our bills—for a while. But it wasn’t easy. He took on any task, no matter how far below his role, just to keep working. I believe his humility saved our butts!
"This is the messy stuff I promised to share. PLEASE, learn from our cautionary tale!"
Even so, we lost two major sources of income almost overnight, cutting our monthly income by more than $1,000. To bridge the gap, we did what seemed logical at the time: we charged the shortfall to our credit card. Within months, we had racked up an additional $10,000 in debt on top of what we already owed. To make matters worse, the promised reimbursement from one income source never came. They were hit too hard by the crash themselves.
I’m disgusted just recounting it, but this is the messy truth I promised to share. PLEASE learn from our cautionary tale!
Admit it—you’re probably feeling pretty good about your financial choices in comparison to ours. 😉
For the next several years, we struggled to make ends meet. We’d pay down small chunks of debt, only to rack it back up because we had no financial reserves. Every penny we earned had a name before it hit our account. We were paying for things we didn’t even own anymore. It was grim.
Then we decided something had to change. We took a Dave Ramsey class at church and started with Steps 1 and 2: save $1,000 in an emergency fund and switch to a cash-only system. It was hard. But you know what’s harder? Living like we had been.
I wish I could say we followed the plan flawlessly and magically became debt-free, but that’s not real life. It got harder—then harder still—before we began to see a glimpse of freedom. We lived credit-card-free for five years before we were credit-card debt-free. Stay the course! I promise it’s worth it. Be vigilant.
"I say to you, take back the control of your money and your PEACE in Jesus name!"
If you’re reading this and feeling hopeless about your debt, take heart. There’s no “easy out,” but you can take back control of your money—and your peace—in Jesus’ name. Don’t bend to the standards of this world. They will devour you. Start praying. Ask God, the Provider, to strengthen your resolve and guide you. Malachi 3:10-12 promises that God will rebuke the devourer on your behalf. Claim that promise!
For practical help, check out resources like CBN’s Handling Money and Dave Ramsey. These ministries helped us climb out of our prison of debt.
We fought hard. We went into what Dave Ramsey calls “gazelle mode,” working tirelessly to pay off our debt. But even with all our effort, it wasn’t enough to deliver us.
Then one night, God spoke: “Will you trust me?”
That night, everything changed.
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