Has the Lord ever asked you to do something that felt absolutely crazy? Or maybe it seemed like too much? You muster all the courage you can, wrestle with your own will, and finally—you leap.
Eyes clenched shut, free-falling, you hold on to the certainty of what you heard from Him. But as you plummet, doubt creeps in. You begin to wonder if you’re crazy, if He’s crazy, or if you somehow misunderstood entirely.
But it’s too late now—you’re committed.
Or worse, you try to change your mind mid-leap. Like one of those viral videos where someone jumps off a diving board, only to panic and try to turn back. The result? A chain of awkward, painful-looking contortions as they inevitably fall into the water below.
Had they just committed to the jump, they could have saved themselves a lot of pain—and maybe even looked graceful.
"...I didn’t know who I was and I was unsure of what God had said."
Well, this has been the story of my life—a series of moments where God says, “Come on,” and I respond with obedience. Sometimes, I step out afraid. Other times, I try to control the process, only to end up hurt and humiliated. My heart’s desire is to get to a place where I fully remember how faithful He has always been—every single time. Even when I’ve contorted and stumbled awkwardly along the way, He’s been there.
I wish I could tell you I’ve got it all figured out, that I’m walking it out flawlessly. The truth is, as I’ve followed the Holy Spirit’s lead, I’ve gotten better at trusting—but I won’t lie: I’m still weak and inconsistent at times. That’s why I’m so grateful for grace.
James 1:22-24
Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.
For a long time, I felt like the person James 1:22-24 describes—the one who hears God’s Word, has a moment of confidence, but then walks away, forgetting who they are and feeling unsure of what God said. I’ll tell you this: God is not a God of confusion! So, I knew there was a gap somewhere in my theology.
How does this tie into my Secret Dream Home?
If I hadn’t obeyed the scary, not-so-fun stuff, I surely wouldn’t have had the courage to obey the risky, exciting stuff!
This was a make it or break it moment! You have to stay the course! You need to be plugged into Jesus and know his voice or you will be deceived into another trap!
So, there we were, living in our little refuge on Sportsman, trying to figure out how to replace my husband’s lost income. But one thing was certain—we had victoriously paid off all our credit card and tax debt.
We were free!
But let me tell you, even as we wrote those checks for thousands of dollars to clear our debt, the enemy was working overtime to lure us away from obedience.
Thoughts flooded in:"You should only pay off most of it… then go on vacation. You haven’t had a vacation in six years, and you just gave up your house. You deserve it. Your kids deserve it—they’ve sacrificed so much! They’ve never even been to Disney! What kind of American parents are you?”
On and on, he went. Every guilt-filled, entitled excuse he could throw at us.
This was a make-it-or-break-it moment. We had to stay the course. If you’re not plugged into Jesus—if you don’t know His voice—you’ll get deceived and fall into another trap. The enemy is relentless, but God is faithful, and obedience is worth it.
For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to the yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1
Satan is a liar—there is no truth in him. He’s a thief, and his only goal is to steal from you. Stand your ground in Jesus’ name! There is only one name that causes the enemy to flee: Jesus.
So yeah... I say His name a lot. Haha! The fight is real, and I am done listening to and entertaining thoughts from the enemy.
Thank you, Jesus!!
Going back to our story.
After paying off our debt, we had lowered our monthly expenses so significantly that we were able to survive on Noah’s income from Momentum Fitness and his tile business. I also started working part-time at our church as the Worship Coordinator, which helped a little as well. On the side, I tapped into my skills as a craftswoman, selling furniture and doing custom work. We were working hard, and God was providing.
With our finances more stable, we started casually browsing the MLS, just to see what was out there. We had enough equity left for a modest down payment on a home. The plan? Downsize and buy a fixer-upper that we could make work. We were open to living in a different part of the beach and prayed intently throughout the process.
We also knew it might not be part of our story to own a home again, but we remained hopeful. My husband and I love home renovation and building projects. I joke all the time that we should be the Joanna and Chip Gaines of the OBX!
So, I took a bold step: I wrote a letter to the homeowner, sharing our plans and situation. Then I made an offer—$100,000 less than the asking price.
I found a fixer-upper in Kitty Hawk, our preferred area. It was above our maximum budget—leaving us little to no money for renovations, and this home definitely needed work. The yard was large by OBX standards, but it was prone to flooding—a serious concern in a hurricane zone.
Still, I was walking in faith, convinced I had figured out God’s plan. All the while, I prayed that He would slam doors in my face if this wasn’t His will.
So, I took a bold step: I wrote a letter to the homeowner, sharing our plans and situation. Then I made an offer—$100,000 less than the asking price. Yep, I can be bold sometimes. 😊
To my surprise, she didn’t laugh in my face. Instead, she graciously countered, coming down $25,000, then $50,000. Our prayer had been that we wouldn’t pay more than a specific amount if this house was God’s will for us. That was our fleece.
This homeowner was a generous, faithful woman, but what I was asking for was—let’s be honest—completely ridiculous.
We scheduled a walkthrough and invited my husband’s dad, along with a friend of ours who’s a General Contractor, to get their opinions. When we arrived, our friend had brought his dad along too, which was a surprise. His dad is a very busy man who runs a large construction company, so we hadn’t expected him to join. But hey—the more, the merrier!
Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers, they succeed. Proverbs 15:22
The dollars are adding up and my heart is sinking.
As we walked through the house, we kept hearing the same feedback from our realtor, Noah’s dad, and our contractor friends: the house needed to be completely rebuilt in many ways and, even then, would still have flooding issues. The dollars are adding up and my heart is sinking.
It was in the perfect neighborhood, within walking distance of no less than five of our good friends. But it was also $50K over our agreed “financial peace” number. Our fleece was only half wet. 🙁
Then, I got a letter from the homeowner. She was willing to come down another $25K! Do you see what’s happening here? That’s $75K below her original asking price!
Of course, Noah and I started thinking hard: Did God really say no? Maybe it won’t cost as much as everyone predicts. Maybe we could settle for God’s plan B. It’s not that much of a difference in the monthly payment…
The rationalizations came flooding in. Our fleece was now 75% wet.
It’s so easy to settle and make excuses for why God couldn’t possibly be telling you to wait—especially when “the deal of the century” is staring you in the face, practically yelling, “Going once, going twice!” This was everything we thought we wanted.
I could list so many things about the house that seemed right. But here’s the truth: a good deal is only a good deal if you can actually afford it. Daaag! That’s convicting!
We couldn’t shake the fact that we had prayed and agreed that God’s answer was no higher than that specific price.
So, let me challenge you: Is the decision you’re about to make—as John Bevere would say—a good thing or a God thing?
The blessing of the Lord enriches, and is with out sorrow. Proverbs 10:22
So... we walked away.
Check out Secret Dream Home part 4 for the conclusion.
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